By EMERSON SLOANE
So there I was, eating lunch one afternoon and trying to enjoy my salad when I looked up and saw a young child let out a blood curdling scream when his mother told him to "sit down!" and eat his food. The mom was juggling her phone, her purse, her own lunch, and her eyes were darting around the restaurant as people looked over to see the commotion. The young boy yelled, "No! I want my chips AT HOME!" and crossed his arms over his chest, defiantly.
Well, I would never have gotten away with that kind of behavior when I was growing up. I had my iPad with me and I did a Google search for getting kids to eat food. The incident in front of me got coupled in my mind with many people I know struggling to get their young children to eat a diversity of foods. The name that popped up was Karen Le Billon and her book French Kids Eat Everything. The title, naturally, intrigued me. Karen's story as an American woman married to a Frenchman who moved back to France with their small children to live near her husband's family in a small French city seemed to be the stuff from which literary gold is made. Marry that concept to the idea of a "how-to" about getting your whole family to eat better foods with a writing style that is supportive, humorous, and helpful, and, in my view, you've got instant global appeal. And that's what's happened for Karen Le Billon. Her inspired first book launched an international conversation about nutrition, children, and culture. She's been featured and interviewed by The New York Times, the BBC, NPR and many other media outlets and platforms about her approach to children and family eating habits. Now, after the publication of her second book, Getting to Yum and the launch of her web site devoted to both, I asked her if she would be willing to share with our readers how we get there in the first place---not just to "Yum" but how to get the process started, whether one is a skeptic, frustrated parent, adult looking for better eating, or concerned family members.
EMERSON SLOANE: First of all, what are your thoughts about how French Kids Eat Everything can be applied to adults and how they eat? At Haven, our goal is to provide people with a guide to living and, as the editor, for me that includes wellness. How do we get people past the Kids language to make this philosophy relevant to Millennials?
KAREN LE BILLON: Great question! Many adult readers have written to me with stories of changing their own eating habits after reading French Kids Eat Everything. The simplest response to this question is simply to note that the “French Food Rules” (with the exception of Rule #1) apply to adults as well as children. They are taught to children in anticipation of the need to develop the skill of healthy eating for life. How might we do this with adults that have learned a different set of food rules (and/or unregulated eating habits)? This is a question I sought to address in my new book, Getting to Yum – which is a parenting guide geared towards parents of children of all ages. A central message of the book is that parents have to change their eating habits if they want their children to eat well.
But not everyone has the time or inclination to read a book, so that is why I am developing Taste Training Plans on my new website, karenlebillon.com. I’ve launched the Baby and Toddler Plans to date, and am planning to launch the ‘Big Kid’ and ‘Adult’ plans this fall. Stay tuned!
ES: Often I feel we’re battling a two hundred year old culture of American stubbornness about foreigners telling them what they do isn’t good. What kind of pushback, if any, have you received about the book and the philosophy behind it and how do you take that and reframe it for people? Food is such a personal thing and parenting is, too…probably moreso. How do we get parents past the knee-jerk reaction that you’re challenging their abilities?
KL: My view is a little different, because I found that the genuine enthusiasm on the part of many American readers for the book’s message was really inspiring. In my experience, people everywhere (including the French) don’t like being told that what they are doing isn’t good. But more so than most, Americans are curious, open, and committed to the idea of personal progress. So they are more willing to try new things than many other cultures. Of course, some pushback is inevitable. But I believe that the results speak for themselves. People who have read the book and changed their eating habits for the better are the best spokespeople (better than I could ever be); many of them have written to me to tell me that they give the book regularly as a gift at baby showers, for example. The book is continuing to sell well through word of mouth and becoming (to a very minor extent) a bit of a social movement.
ES: I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘you eat what’s on your plate’ and all of it, too. In reading your book, I see a very different culture around food and eating. With the dynamic of American society being so focused on activity and work, the people I’ve talked to about your book say they love the ideas, but it won’t work for their family because of time. Do you think, then, the first step is for families to prioritize differently first and then focus on the food? What do you think works best for the willing, but for those who don’t think they’re able?
KL: French people work long hours too (my journalist sister-in-law regularly gets home after 8:00 p.m. in the evening). In my experience, families do have enough time, but they fill their time with other priorities. So I agree with you: the first step is to prioritize differently. But it will seem hard to take this step if food isn’t fun and if cooking seems like it is a hassle. So another approach might be to implement the French Food Rules one day per week (usually on the weekend). Once that opens up a few minds (and mouths), rescheduling family commitments to allow more time for family meals will more likely meet with acceptance.
ES: My grandmother used to make us eat every snack at the table. She was a German who came to the US in the late 1950s and I think a lot of European attitudes about diet that were incorporated into my life and that I appreciate today came from that experience. When I think about how schools offer such horrible foods and in such an unappetizing presentation, is the solution to pack a lunch every day for our children that reflects our efforts to educate them about food? How do we get our school-aged children to buy-in to a new diet? And how do we get them past the “food envy” of cookie cutter pizza and chicken nuggets they see on the trays of their friends?
KL: Individualizing the solution through bringing packed lunches will only work if a majority of parents are on board, as well as the school. It makes more sense to work with the school to revamp school lunches: ‘real food’ meals are cheaper as well as healthier, particularly if made from scratch, as Chef Kate (for example) has shown in her work with schools across the US cookforamerica.com.
If children eat real food most of the time, and get used to the feel good feeling that you get from healthy food, they won’t have much food envy. As an experiment (remember, I’m a researcher!), I recently took my two daughters to McDonald’s. I cheerfully bought them two Happy Meals, which they refused to eat, declaring that the food was inedible. Instead, they wanted to eat the salad that I had bought. We’ve had similar experiences with kids’ food on planes; they’d rather eat the adult meal.
ES: One thing that really gets me is the two meal part of what is becoming standard operating procedure in so many American families—where mom or dad cooks something, has the child taste it, they whine or refuse to eat it, and them mom/dad throws some chicken nuggets, fish nuggets or what-have-you into the oven and that’s what the child gets for dinner. Do you think having a child go without until they relent is the first step to breaking this? In our house, growing up, we learned quickly to at least try new foods and I believe that children will eat, eventually. They’re not going to starve themselves. Am I a monster, Karen?
KL: You’re not a monster. At least, not to me.
At our house, kids have two choices at the table: “Take it or leave it.” In other words: no substitutes. It wouldn’t even occur to my kids to ask! By creating multiple meals, parents actually end up creating more work for themselves; plus, it’s more expensive to buy those pre-packaged food products. I advise parents to go cold turkey on substitutes. Children may whine, but if parents are firm most kids will adapt more quickly than parents will have expected.
ES: Let’s talk about first steps. What kinds of small, initial changes to our children’s and familes’ diets can we make starting at the end of the week when we hit the supermarket or farmers’ markets?
KL: ‘Just say no’ to snack foods and processed foods. Getting to Yum has an entire chapter devoted to weaning your kids off of kids’ food. Also, get your kids involved: choosing their favorite veggies or fruits (young ones), and even making meal choices and meal plans (older ones). Some of my test families chose ‘challenge vegetables’ and put their kids in charge of choosing recipes for the entire family to try. Participation (rather than pressure) is key – another entire chapter in Getting to Yum.
ES: Do you recommend a way to be accountable to ourselves for implementing changes like those you suggest that keeps people on track? Starting a neighborhood support group, maybe? What kinds of tools can be at the disposal of parents really focused on making some changes to how they approach the food education and preparation of food for their children?
KL: Fantastic idea! I love the idea of Taste Training parties (sort of like a themed potluck for the toddler set), which a couple of readers have told me that they have started. And wouldn’t it be great to create a ‘meet up’ opportunity online for parents to create those ‘support groups’ ?
ES: What can our readers expect from you in keeping current about making these changes? What about after they read the book or read this interview? I would love the opportunity to have this resource be an ongoing thing for our readers. We’ve already woven your ideas into our food content on the site.
KL: Thanks so much – it is really inspiring to hear that. My new website has infographics, downloadable resources, and the Taste Training Plans—which provide parents with recipes, grocery lists, games, and great activities for kids. As I get feedback, I’m hoping to extend the resources offered on the site. I would also love to brainstorm about the ideas you've mentioned. Wouldn't it be great for a magazine like Haven to seed these kind of ideas?